I am staggering at times at the immaturity of man (men) in today's society so as to cast off, not only their "first Love", but also their second love which is the appreciation (by showing) of their "help meets", their wives.
There is much to say in Scripture about the importance of the "help meet" of our creation but at this time I would like to put it into my own words.
So many men today, and through all mankind have never embraced the depth of "completion" that can be experienced with our wives.
I speak of the completion of "oneness" between a man and a woman "as it was in the beginning." I adhere to no other application of marriage as being shown in the Scriptures.
But even in this God proven necessity, of a man and a woman clinging to one another, leaving their parents for that sole purpose, most the time selfishness is shown and to the greatest extent by the man, to cause "lack of real intimacy" in the union.
Scripture tells us to "Love our wives as ourselves" and that "no man hateth himself but feedeth and nurisheth his own body", such should he do for his wife.
Most problems arrive in the marriage when the husband can't seem to grasp how to treat his wife as he treats himself. There seems to be a dual expectation that lifts up the man and sets down the woman.
"If my wife wants to be with me she has to enjoy the things I do, because I am going to do them whether or not she likes it."
"House chores are her job, I provide for the family!"
"Football season is here.........what does she expect me to do...........the game is on."
"As a man thinks in his heart so is he."
So if "ANYTHING" is more important than your wife then your heart has been revealed and you fail "Marriage 101" according to Scripture.
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But I would have you know, that the head of every man is Christ; and the head of the woman is the man; and the head of Christ is God."
First God gave us Jesus Christ to prove His Love for us and redeem us from the transgression of his creation. (Changing of His design for creation.)
Then He gave us our "help meet" to pour into them that same Love that we experience from Him. "To esteem others better than ourselves" that we might have and transfer that legacy of Love to our future generations...........His heritage!
Because of this "creation design" we will never be complete without both Christ and woman. We cannot be complete with same sex marriages because we cannot embrace God opening the womb to continue (fill up the earth) procreation.
We cannot also satisfy "creation design" when the woman is looked at as a subordinate to the man.
Paul said, "As women was created from man ..........Man comes from woman." Oneness by necessity of procreation.
I believe that the roles of man and woman are different in application but equal in support.
By that I mean that man is the provider and protector, and woman the mother, wife, and help meet. Both completing the design of life and thereby "complimenting" one another with only "logistical" differences separating their performances.
So how does a man "think in his heart" the "right" things about his wife and then put them into practice?
Here is some ideas:
A true woman takes from her husband her completeness. Meaning that unless she gets that from him she will never be complete. Sorry that's not my idea it's Gods design. But at the same time man is complete by the becoming one with his wife. First physically, then spiritually and emotionally. The physical "makes them one" then the "Love of God shed abroad in our hearts" unites body, soul and spirit into complete "oneness."
I believe that the only way for a man to show his wife her value is to be a leader in the expression of Love and understanding in the relationship. Sure some of this will be backwards in many marriages but this is not the design of God.
Man will give account to God for all his wife's, and children's training.
He will lead them or he will destroy these precious gifts by his "godliness" or lack there of.
How does a man "inspire his wife?"
First: by "growing up." No explanation needed here. If one is than you are not ready for this preaching.
Two: By starting with his heart to put her equal with him in care and consideration.
How?
You can put your wife first not only in her presence (and whether you believe it or not, they notice who or what you put first) but in her absence.
Here is what I do as oft as I am going before to do:
Make a special breakfast (what she enjoys) on the weekends. Getting up earlier than her to make sure it is ready for when she wakes.
Turn down her side of the bed to show invitation.
Do the dishes without being told, the dry them and put them away.
Helping her with dusting or floors, without her asking, with a smile, willingly.
Making intimate times for her first not yourself. Your a man it takes her longer and she deserves that extra time and attention after a day of "pleasing everyone else" by being the Mom.
Finding arousal only in her because she is God's perfect gift for you.
Controlling wandering eyes and loose lips about how someone else is attractive to you. If you truly love your wife you will not be able to say that someone else has any attraction what so ever to you. Showing other wise demeans her and causes distrust in your love and motives.
Love everything about her.........every thing. Her eyes, her smile, the way she smells, laughs, feels, and responds. Know her better than you know yourself.
Constantly reaffirm to her your Love both verbally, physically, and with reaffirming actions meant just for her.
Tell her you Love her (from the heart) many times a day..........many!
Kiss her tenderly as oft as the opportunity presents itself........and that without always having expectation of "more". The more will never be a problem if the now is sincere and without expectation. Let her respond to the out pouring of love and expression in her own time. Who can say no to Unconditional Love?
Compliment her with out cause or end. Sincerely. Cover everything about her from her smile to the way she looks, whether in pajama's of going to a wedding. She should be the desire of your heart. Let here know, everyday.
Become the man she can "lean on" literally! She should be able to "rest in your", your love, your compassion, your commitment. She should feel that there is nothing that she can't talk to you about or express in your presence that you would react to. Even when that means expressing a different opinion. Right or not ill response is not way to show your wife she is precious, at any time.
She should always feel welcome and safe in your arms.
She should always want to "be there in them" resting, breathing, trusting and receiving.
This is just a start to what "being one" means and how to begin the journey to that command. There is so much more to add and instruct in this matter. If you let your heart lead and treat the way you want to be treated you will grow in grace and love for one another, both feeling satisfied in the balance thereof.
Love one another......as Christ Loved His church and gave His life for it. So you should love one another.
Remember that other eyes are on you for reason of practice whether good or evil being your example.
Love in Christ
J&E
